he won't break into my heart...he just eases without a sound.

Today I did not have meetings at school. It's Friday and everyone is excited for the 3-day weekend. But here I sit, windows open, lawn mowers buzzing in the distance, and the cool Miwaukee breeze wafting through my windows...and I continue to swallow back a growing mass in my throat that comes with flooded eyes. I haven't allowed myself to cry this week- and I've been almost too busy to do so. However, today is calm, and with calm comes quiet, and in quiet comes the thought of loved ones and the realization of just how far away they really are. This breaks my heart.

I knew I needed to get out this morning and explore my new city and was very excited to do so. I found many familiar places which reminded me of people back home, P.F. Changs (noted for johnny lund when he comes to visit), Barnes and Noble (my crew at the Lincoln location), World Market (which will always remind me of nate only because i was on the phone with him when i first walked in), Bed Bath & Beyond (Ryan and Martha), two malls, Best Buy (my brother, james), KMart (my mother), etc...and recognizing these familiar places was very comforting. I tried to find a quaint little coffee shop and all I could find was a Starbucks. I decided to skip the coffee and come home for an afternoon of quiet with my journal, Bible and a few of my favorite books and some homemade coffee or tea.

I was reading through old posts from dear friends and Levi wrote this about being far from someone you love. Melissa used it in a post as well and I thought it was simiply beautiful. "...It is almost as though the weight of the substance and joy they bring isn't comprehended till they are gone, and then finally, when they are all but forgotten, they are suddenly there again....". I don't know that I'll ever get to the point of nearly forgetting- it seems that one builds routines to get by and soon enough routine becomes comfortable without those who have been such a large part of daily life. I know this will happen, and I eagerly anticipate it because there will be less heartache. However, this is a season to celebrate as well, and I know that there are points to be learned here. And so to survive, I will cling to the truth that I know so well; that I'm never alone.

Isaiah 41:10:

10 Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.